Today: I am very childish…

…No one’s really surprised, right?

My mother had a strange back spasm earlier today and was unable to rise from her knees, (in a funny way, you know.) I was able to touch her on the head and solemnly say in ringing tones “Arise, Sir Assface!!” Luckily she found it amusing, which meant I had to then take pity on her and lug her to her feet.

I’ve been watching a lot of the World Cup and enjoying some of immensely. Some is a bit dull. I enjoyed watching Ghana the other day, though I missed their second goal discussing The Pook’s phallic banana. Then it became highly amusing when she couldn’t then eat it seriously. How childish are we? Fnnnnaaaarrr!!

In an ongoing theme, this week’s episode of Doctor Who (just after the football) was pretty hilarious. There’s this weird alien (played by the brilliant Peter Kaye) who absorbs people and then their faces appear on his body. Wow. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say. Actually this alien was designed by a little kid who won a competition on Blue Peter. It was called the ‘Absorbaloff’. Only from the minds of children…. Anyway, the Absorbaloff is eventually repelled by the power of his victims pulling him apart. As frequently happens. The Doctor manages to save The Absorbaloff's last victim who is the girlfriend of the current main character, called Elton, bizarrely. You see The Doctor shouting “quick, get a spade!” and then cut back to Elton’s bedroom where he’s talking about his lost love and we get to find out, in a piece of twisty goodness, that her head is now set in the paving stone but she’s still alive and can talk and stuff. (Which is obviously better than letting her die with dignity having been a hero.) While he’s talking, Elton picks up the slab and shows it to the camera then turns it around so it’s facing him and rests the edge of it in his lap. Yes. In his lap. Of course The Pook and I are immediately reduced to fits of purile giggling. There was no need for sharing the joke. The guy had her head in his lap. We are soon jerked out of amusement (yes, I said jerked. You read the title.) by Elton’s rather frank, yet coy admission, that he loved the paved head and that they even ‘had a sex life of sorts’. Really. Don’t be patronising. Everyone was there already. There are children present. And let’s not forget the astoundingly childish. Like myself. Still sniggering several days later.

Number of times I accidentally wrote ‘Bananana’ today: 2 Huh. Such a fun word to type, one gets a little carried away.