Boyfriends beware!! I have solid hair! ... Oooh, that rhymes...

How am I this week then? Spiffy, thanks. It is half term after all. I spent some time today sending emails to people I haven't spoken to in ages. Which was cool because my good friend Angus was able to come round and see me, after getting her email. And, more importantly, she brought my Christmas present which was a desktop basketball hoop. I think my desktop basketball is much improved. That said, Angus suggested I should take it to work and place it on my desk. I don't think I need any more distractions from my work at the moment.

There's this advert for chips on TV right now, with this song set to 'Food, Glorious Food'. It gets me every time because I swear that I keep hearing the song wrong...at least I hope I do. I suspect that the words are actually 'Chips, magical chips, glorious chips...' Everytime I hear this 'magical chips' part of the song, a little voice in my head says 'what the hell are 'vaginal chips'?' I don't think I'd want to eat those. My bread's just not buttered that side.

Has Britney Spears shaved her head? If so, good on her. I've always wanted to shave my head. I'm just completely convinced that I'd look like a man. Plus, I've just spent an extortionate amount of money on a pair of GHD hair straighteners. I think I was lured in by the 'boyfriend stealing' advert. I was so pleased when they arrived in the post today, I kept squealing and racing around the kitchen like a loon. I say 'arrived in the post' like it actually happened. I think perhaps Royal Mail couldn't be assed to deliver it and just cut out the middle man to give me one of those irritating leaflets telling you to pick up your parcel at the office with ridiculously inconvenient opening hours. Closed five minutes before you get the leaflet. Bastards. Still my exciting trip to the high street to spend money on important things like shampoo and conditioner and glittery nailvarnish was obviously entirely worthwhile.

The GHDs are just brilliant fun. I can give volume and frizz the finger. Ha ha ha! I just wish they'd invented hair straighteners when I was a youth. I spent hours looking at some bizarre fright wig in the mirror and wondering what the hell I was supposed to do to make it look nice. Usually failing. I spent more time fighting with my stupid hair than anything. More amusing is the free DVD that comes with the hair straighteners. Firstly they have the model virtually drowned in hair products. For the preparation stage (i.e. the bit before any straighteners even reach your hair) the instructions are something like this:

1. Wash your hair with GHD shampoo and GHD conditioner.
2. Towel dry
3. Apply a healthy application of GHD leave in conditioner
4. Apply a healthy application of GHD violent styling serum (or something to that effect...)
5. Apply GHD heat protective balm to the ends of the hair, working up to the roots.
6. Blow dry
7. Apply GHD moisturising moisture moisty moist moist spray. (Apply directly into the eye, if the model's violent twitching at this stage is anything to go by.)
8. Divide hair into ridiculously tiny sections
9. Use straighteners.
10. Apply GHD anti frizz serum to add definition.
11. Finish with GHD hairspray to hold the style for the rest of your natural life.

And you're finished. Ta daaa! Check out your gorgeous crash helmet of hair. I mean, that hair was going nowhere!! Suffice to say I had a go with them on my untainted hair and they worked a treat. I would use some kind of heat protecting stuff usually and I like a good leave in conditioner, but this was patently ridiculous. I also tried the curling thing with them and that worked. Sort of. Every so often, one bit just won't curl at all. Perhaps it was due to the fact that I had not yet applied a bucketload of GHD something or other. At £10 a bottle, I can live without it...

In other news, The Pook sent me a computer test that tells you how common you are. I was... intrigued yet unsurprised to discover that I am 50% common. If I'd have looked anything other than exactly like a partially wrapped squashed cheese sandwich in a shell suit and gone ahead and bought one, I'd have pushed it over the halfway mark. So I am destined to walk in both worlds, never quite belonging to either one or the other. Huh. Work in a private school, wear Burberry perfume. That's just so like me...