Harrassing you in the name of the Lord!

Yes. Another day waiting for the plumber. He didn't manage to make it yesterday, meaning that I not only had to spend the day at home grousing on Tuesday, but then had to miss a day out at the pub with my friends yesterday, and now I am missing a day out in the countryside with my dog. Today, he is due to arrive at 10.00. It's 11.00. I have already answered the door to a random man asking me a weird question and (of course) the door went again when I was on the toilet. Gah. As I came down the stairs in a hurry, trying to sort out my mad hair, I happened to spot a couple of people through the window in the door.... Jehovah's Witnesses!! I fled back upstairs and hid until they went next door.

What is it about those people that you can spot their religion just by looking at them? Isn't that odd? It's not because of their appearance. I mean, it's probably that they are knocking on your door at 11.00 in the morning (obviously the Jesus hour) so close to Easter. But sometimes you'll come home and spot them roaming the streets in packs. You just know. Sometimes they have that 'Watchtower' magazine, which by the way, you have to get at least once for the lesson in persuasive religious advertising. You can use it for teaching. It's the best thing ever.

I don't have an issue with their religion, or that they have one. It's just that they are bound by their religious choices to be at the 'sales' end of the religious spectrum and I feel bad about having to tell them I'm not interested in their religion (or any religion, for that matter. Equal opportunities and all that). If the Catholics came door to door, I'd run away from them too. The other weird thing about Jehovah's Witnesses is that I have heard that they believe there are only a certain number of places for Christians in Heaven. That doesn't really seem to tally in with the whole 'door to door' recruitment policy aspect of their faith. Is that true, I wonder... I have some internet research to do!

Scientologists! (Uh... Is that a religion? Do they think it's a religion? We'll assume yes for the purposes of today's post.) They peddle their faith. They do that weird stress test in the street. I must do that one day. What I find particularly odd is that they find it necessary to disguise the fact that they are Scientologists until it's too late. If you glance around the back of their little 'stress booth' table thing, there are loads of L Ron Hubbard books. Actually, I really must find out what the hell Scientology is all about. I bet it just gets better and better the more you browse. Once, The Pook and I were watching this programme about 'dolphin people' aliens starting life on Earth and this guy talking about these particular stars in the Solar system who made us die laughing. Several months later we discovered that this story appeared to form the basis of Scientology. Surely not! I'll have to check that, because it sounded so unbearably silly that I can't believe it was correct. Well, I say that, but it's probably one of the more likely stories of how a religion came about.

Sigh. Well I suppose I should prepare myself for the next arrival at the door. Probably representatives from major religions to beat me for my inflammatory comments about their origin stories. *cough* Look, I'm not in!