HOW short is Ryan Seacrest?!

Jesus, I know the guy has to stand on a box, but he is minute. Not just short, but.... petite. Weird.

I'm watching the American Idol final. It's piss poor. Seriously. I haven't watched any of it before, and I am so not impressed. If these two were the finalists, then I dread to think what the rest of the contestants were like. I have a grudging liking for Blake. Despite the all American name/sweater combination. Pffft. Whoever suggested that those diamond patterned golf jumpers, I'm sorry, sweaters were back in vogue deserves to be shot down. But he's still terrible. Espcially if he tries to sing. The other woman is pretty lame. I've forgotton her name, but she seems ok. Sings fairly well, but is just the beigeist lady alive.

And why is it that the song that they have to release is always the worst single ever written? It's the same on every idol final. They do really well up until the point that you have to experience the tragic piece of ass that they have to unleash on an unwitting public. At least the woman sings better than Blake. (I wish I could say his name without choking on the sarcasm.) Though I'm quite done with her touching tears at the end of every rendition. She's bound to win, not to mention working my last nerve at this moment in time. I wish she wouldn't win. What's the choice though?

You'll be delighted to learn that I am feeling better and much more my vitriolic self, as you can tell. I'm getting cabin fever stuck in the house all the time, (It's been over a week since I stepped out the front door.) and I'm planning on going to sort out some stuff at my Grandma's house tomorrow. I had a brief funny five minutes after hanging out some washing today. So provided I don't exert myself too much or for too long, I am able to function more like a human being. Just in time for the school holidays. Today was probably the first day I could have gone back, but I just know I would have been crap and I have loads of lessons with my class 5 boys on a Friday. Much though I love them, and I do, I can't cope with their bullshit unless I am fully rested.

Nearly time for the AI result. We were distracted briefly by a man in too much eyeliner (or 'guyliner' as the very funny Cat Deely put it) singing some angsty gee-tar crud, but that was all pointless digression. Uh. The finalists are on stage together. Ha hahahaha! Is he really short or is she massive? Oh, now, I'm not dissing short men. It's only in the world of tv, where men must be tall and broad shouldered and women must be thin with glossy hair, stupid really. I've fallen for men much shorter than me. Not, I hasten to add, Ryan Seacrest. I'd crush him accidentally. Probably with my new shoes. They make me over six foot. I kinda like it.

Uh. Did no one tell Kelly Clarkson that thigh high boots are no good unless you happen to be a hooker?

Since I have been ill, I have been having this stupid argument with my mother. Basically when I get sick, my sense of smell and taste goes all kablooey. There was this awful air freshner smell in the bathroom and it was driving me insane. I kept thinking someone had used the spray freshner and it had permeated into everything in the room. Oh, how wrong I was. My mother had bought... I can't even say it... scented toilet paper.....

What the fuck does anyone want with scented loo roll? As I said to my mother, it's not really for sniffing, you wipe your arse with it! Now I'll admit to buying scented tampax once, but I couldn't really grasp the point in that either and I had no choice. But then that wasn't as heavily scented as the loo roll. Anyway. Mother is very precious about the new TP and won't listen to any of my demands to change it as it makes me vomit. Dude. Scented loo roll.

Huh. just when I was thinking perhaps there was something wrong with the sound on American Idol, as most of the ex-contestants sounded so crap, along came Smokey Robinson. Oooooooo....
I love Smokey....

...Had a little work done, Smokey? Yeah...