Does my bum look clearly visible in this?

I'm back! And bloody knackered. Who would have thought that the holidays would be so flippin' tiring? I thought I should write something in here in the event of my possible upcoming death. I have this fear of flying thing to deal with and therefore haven't been on a plane in about 13 years. So, I'm getting pretty sick of not being able to do anything about going on holiday and I decided to go to Spain with my mother, as she asked. Actually, she's been nagging me for ages and I need to get on a plane at some point before it gets even sillier than it has already. As Alanis Morrisette so rightly pointed out to us some time ago: anyone afraid to fly who gets on a plane, finally thinking that there is no reason in being scared anymore, will inevitably be involved in a massive crash. There hasn't been one in a while. I'm not loving those odds. That's just one of the exciting things banging around in my brain at the moment. I'm a little job depressed too. I have thoroughly enjoyed living in at the school this year, tourists and loud running and shouting from the boys aside. A series of annoyingly depressing events coloured the last few weeks and I just ended up feeling down and pointless. I'm sure once (and if!) I get back after the hols all will be new and exciting, but it has made the holidays feel a little like damaged goods.

In order to improve my mood, I've been indulging in a little retail therapy. (I haven't yet bought any heels, which is obviously what's needed as I am still not really myself.) I hate the whole holiday shopping thing. I haven't done it with any vaguely tropical destination in mind since I was 15, and judging by the holiday snaps, not really successfully in the clothes department. For some reason I bought this dress for the beach with an elasticated top. It was quite nice although will now forever be emblazoned in my mind as 'the outfit I was wearing at the very moment I realised I can no longer get away without wearing a bra'. That's a life defining moment right there. On the other hand, I am glad that I do not have to fill my bra with liquid inserts or chicken fillets or whatever the current trend demands but I am now also at the age when serious underwear is now a necessity and not an option.

My mother set the tone for this shopping business by purchasing me a rather odd garment. A see through white skirt. It's floor length, but that does not really detract from the fact that I could read the label telling me how much it was whilst said label was inside the skirt with me! Not quite sure what kind of vibe we are planning on giving out on this holiday. Just what does virtually transparent clothing say about a girl? I can only assume she does not know it is see through.

Also over the last few weeks I have:

Attended Chessington world of shite theme park. It rained heavily the WHOLE DAMN DAY! And it sucked, in case my capitals failed to convey that message. The boys were good fun, but mainly as they were all dressed in a variety of coloured plastic rain ponchos.

Spent quite a bit of time staring at this guy who works in the church. I suspect he's too young for me, but now I'm 28, quite a lot of people are! There was a whiff of Noel Fielding about him.

Went to the natural history museum's butterfly house with The Pook. She: covered in a whirlwind of gorgeous flapping insects. me: Sweaty and covered with fruit flies.

Stole some toilet paper. Not really a shining moment for me. Was funny though.