The agony of breakfast...

Today's hysterical breakfast conversation with the boys:

Sneeb: We strung up all these beads in our cubicle...

Me: Beards?! What the...?

Sneeb: No. Beads, and...

Me: (Rudely interrupting.) God. Imagine, having all these beards in your bedroom. Where would you get them from?

H: People's faces. Obviously

Me: What like some kind of serial killer keepsake? Wow. Were I a serial killer, I would take people's beards and make them into some kind of beard necklace.

G: Or a total beard outfit.

Me: (By this point entirely helpless with laughter.) Like in silence of the Lambs? I cannot rest until I complete my beard-suit!!

H: You could put it on and look at yourself in the mirror...!

Me: Doing a little dance...!

At this point we all choke on our cereal.

Me: Wow. I really need to get a proper night's sleep.

Later, discussing the weird new shower curtains around the baths.

H: Well, at least you can have your privacy.

Me: Yeah, but you have to go into this weird room full of shower curtains and then can't find the way to the door. It's really claustrophobic.

H: That sounds grim. (Mimes screaming and banging with fists to escape.)

Me: Uh... H, it's a shower curtain. If you did that you'd just fall through it.

G: Naked.

Me: Apart from a fine sheen of bubbles!!

More choking.

Me: At least you'd have your privacy. Naked. Face down on the floor. Yeah.

God. If unprofessional breakfast sniggering is wrong, I don't wanna be right.