Bloody owch!

I have been the recipient of the paper cut to end all paper cuts. If my typing is odd that's because I have lost my main typing finger! (Sucks to all this correct fingering bullshit they make you do in typing courses.) In the exciting build up to exam week I had once again managed to not do anything about sorting out papers until the morning of the exams. I photocopied the exciting tale of John the Baptist and then realised that I should have taken out the bits of paper stuck in the book as these were now clearly visible at the top of the photocopied page. (One clearly visible phrase being "...other Jesusy stuff...".) Using my reknowned initative, I hot footed it downstairs and smugly used the enormous paper cutting machine to strim a 2 cm strip from the top of all six photocopies. (See where we're going here?) Holding the paper strips between two fingers, I was overwhelmed by the urge to have them all straightened. (OCD?) I ran my hand down the strips of paper and was rewarded by the unmistakable feeling of AGONISING PAIN!!! And blood. Lots of blood. Stupid paper. How sharp can it be? I say again, Bloody owch!

Anyway, to appease my hurt feelings, I stuck a plaster on it. With pictures of Our Lord on it. Seeing as the whole injury was his fault in the first place, it seemed relevant.

Of course, it could be my fault for being blasphemous in the first place. But I shan't be considering that. I'm in way too much pain.