Girl's best friend...or forever?

Today, I went diamond shopping!!! Stop squealing. I'm not rethinking my hardheaded views on marriage. I'm making an investment. In the current dodgy economic climate I think that something large, sparkly and valuable would be a wise purchase. (Plus, eeeeeeeeeeeee! Sparkly!!) They don't devalue that much do they? Diamonds? I guess not. I went to Hatton Garden and it was quite the location. I only had a closer look at one, although many leapt out of shop windows at me, screaming 'Buy me! Buy me! Joan Collins wouldn't be thinking about it!!'

The shop girl said to me, when I was looking at the ring, 'Do take it outside and have a look in the sunlight'. There was a guy in a car by the kerb, specifically employed to watch over you and the v. expensive hand candy you were toting. Which is all very well, but I was completely unable to appreciate the interplay of light and diamond because I was standing in a busy street with about £10 000 worth of stones on my person. I kept thinking I'd drop them or someone would take them from me and the guard dog in the car seemed much more interested in the newspaper than me. I could have made a run for it. Though it would have been pointless, as both the rings I was looking at were way too small for my chunky fingers. So I decided against the fun option and went back in. Seriously, there are so many shops in the street. I must have looked in every window. Surrounded, of course, by happy and twittering couples looking at solitaires.

Still, I am slowly edging towards the opinion that women only marry for the ring, or you know, religious reasons, or tax so I figure that while I can afford it, and seeing as I'm not holding my breath on the marriage stakes I can buy myself a ring and cut out the middle man. (Perhaps I could also present it to myself down on one knee. Too much?) As an added bonus, it'll be something to sell in my retirement years as I have forgone getting a pension and will have lost all my money gambling. It should see me and my cat army through another year or so of gin and white gloves.